


I Have Died Every Day (Waiting for You)

by Phantoms_Echo



Series: Last Day Again [5]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Time Loop, Drama, Happy Ending, He needs some Shinichi hugs, Kaito's fine though, Kaito's gone insane, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Shinichi decides to give them to him, Shinichi's POV, Suicide Attempts, That's the power of Time Loops for you, Time Loop, Time Loop Break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 02:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12224208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantoms_Echo/pseuds/Phantoms_Echo
Summary: “KID!” Conan shouted, hands going to his belt. But wait-! He’d left his shoes by the door! Would he have enough time to-?“Kuroba Kaito, actually,” KID said, calmly placing his mug on the table. He folded his hands in his lap.Conan drew up short, “Why… why would you tell me that?!”“Because it’s easier to get introductions out of the way early,” KID’s smile was bright, teasing, “Neh, Kudou Shinichi?”Conan felt his heart stop.(Shinichi's view of the first four parts of Last Day Again)





	I Have Died Every Day (Waiting for You)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan or Magic Kaito, only the events in this fic.
> 
> PS - I promised and I have delivered! I like how Kaito's part took 26,000+ words and Shinichi's takes 9000 or so. Shows you how much really goes on in the time loop. :)
> 
> Also, did anyone pick out the significance of doing this series on February 13th? No? Okay, forget I asked. ;)
> 
> Lastly, there are a lot of parts in this that are a little cut/paste, simply by the nature of how this fic is. I have tried my best to break it up with new content, but I apologize in advance.

Conan woke up to Ran running the vacuum cleaner, suction blaring loudly. Looked like she was in a cleaning mood this morning. Yawning, he sat up and stretched, hearing his back pop slightly as he did so.

If he knew Ran as well as he did, she’d likely talk him into helping out with the impromptu cleaning. As Conan, he couldn’t exactly tell her ‘no’ either. The best way to get out of it was to avoid her altogether.

So thinking, he got dressed, brushed his teeth, and eyed the door warily.

The sounds of the vacuum weren’t as close, so maybe he had a chance? He popped his head out and looked around.

Okay! The coast was clear!

Opening the door further, he tiptoed out and across the room floor, careful to keep his head down. He was right there, hand reaching for the doorknob, when-!

“Conan? Is that you?” Ran looked out the kitchen door, eyes narrowing, “Where do you think you’re going?”

 _Not good!_ He thought as he ducked his head.

“Get in here and help me clean. I’m not the only one who lives here, you know!”

 _And yet, Kogoro never helps_. Conan sighed and retraced his steps, “Yes, Ran-nee-chan.”

*             *             *             *             *

Hours later when he was finally freed, Conan made haste to Agasa’s place. He was supposed to meet Haibara at nine. It was ten-thirty now. He was way late.

Hopefully, she’d understand.

“Hello!” he called, “I’m coming in!”

“We’re in the living room!” Haibara called back. She didn’t sound too angry with him. Today must be a good day.

Conan followed her voice from the entry way to the little sitting area to the left… and froze.

There was a person there.

A boy his age (his _actual age_ ) was calmly drinking a mug of steaming liquid, the hot scent of cocoa in the air. When the other looked at Conan and smiled, Conan felt his shoulders draw themselves up. Something about that smile was… off.

“Welcome back, Tantei-kun,” the teen said, hands gripping his mug just a little tighter and that…!

“KID!” Conan shouted, hands going to his belt. But wait-! He’d left his shoes by the door! Would he have enough time to-?

“Kuroba Kaito, actually,” KID said, calmly placing his mug on the table. He folded his hands in his lap.

Conan drew up short, “Why… why would you _tell_ me that?!”

“Because it’s easier to get introductions out of the way early,” KID’s smile was bright, teasing, “Neh, Kudou Shinichi?”

Conan felt his heart stop. How did… How did KID _know_?! How did he know Conan was Shinichi? _Why_ did he know? Was he with-?

“Stop that,” Haibara snapped, frowning at the _internationally wanted thief_ on Agasa’s couch. “You’re going to make him more suspicious of you.”

KID sighed, lips forming a pout, “But explaining always takes so long!”

What?

“Unfortunately for you, we don’t remember, so you’ll have to explain from the beginning,” Haibara admonished.

 _What_?! Conan’s jaw dropped.

She set her teacup down on the table and hopped off the couch, “The antidote should have dehydrated by now. I’ll let you explain it to him.”

“Yes, yes,” KID agreed easily. Haibara nodded once to him and disappeared down to her lab. Conan eyed the thief. KID eyed him. “Are you going to stand there like an attack dog or are you going to take a seat so we can discuss this like civilized people?”

Conan shot the thief a look as if to say ‘ _Are you insane?!’_ KID didn’t react. Conan closed his mouth and warily walked forward, taking Haibara’s spot.

He took a minute to observe the teen. Now that he looked, the other boy looked like him – _a lot like him_. In fact, Conan was sure they could have passed as twins, they appeared so similar. He wondered if _that_ was what made that smile seem off, but… not.

There was something else. Something not quite right.

Conan swallowed and raised an eyebrow, “Well?”

“I am living in a time loop,” KID said. Conan opened his mouth to protest, because that was _impossible_. He didn’t get the chance as KID steamrolled him, “You don’t believe me. You’ll ask for proof –you detectives always do. Haibara gave me a code that made her believe, but you never had anything you would solidly take as proof.”

Conan closed his mouth with a click.

“I believe you generally came around by your own observations or by Haibara’s word,” KID – _Kuroba_ shrugged, “Either way, we made a deal, one I’m now carrying through with.”

Conan narrowed his eyes, “What kind of deal?”

“I get some information and in return, you get the formula for APTX4869.”

Conan’s jaw dropped. KID –Kuroba got the formula? From the Black Organization? And he was still _alive_?!

No, back up, he had the _formula_?! The one Haibara needed? The one that could lead to an _antidote_?!

“Of course, I don’t do things by halves,” Kuroba continued, leaning to pick up his mug, “I decided to help Haibara with creating the antidote –which she has done. Or technically _is doing_ right now.

“ _How_?” Conan’s voice came out as a squeak.

“Trial and error mostly,” Kuroba said, taking a sip of his… hot chocolate, Conan deduced, “With my eidetic memory, though, it made the whole matter much simpler.”

…Conan wondered how many ‘errors’ there were. And exactly what they looked like.

For something like this, though, there was a price –there was always a price. Kuroba had mentioned it already –information. At least that much was clear.

“So what is it you want to know?” Conan asked as he sank back in the cushions, “Something about me? The Black Organization? Or…?”

“How to break the loop,” Kuroba answered, eyes now staring into his mug.

“But…” Conan frowned, “I don’t know how to break a magical time loop.”

“I know,” Kuroba looked up and _smiled_.

Conan abruptly realized what was wrong with that smile –it didn’t reach his eyes. His lips were twisted up, bright and unarming, but his eyes…

They held sadness, fear, desperation –all the dark emotions a person could possibly feel and still live. Death would have been a blessing.

 _No_. Conan decided, wincing internally, _not even death. That look –if he hasn’t tried to kill himself yet, I would be surprised._

He had to answer carefully. If he said the wrong thing, Kuroba might just go over the edge. He didn’t want to see that. “If you have a few leads, I could probably find something for you.”

Kuroba just shrugged.

Conan’s eyes narrowed, “We’ve already done this, haven’t we?”

Kuroba smiled _that smile_ again.

Conan’s heart gave a painful beat, “Did I manage to find anything?”

Silence, Conan counted out five seconds.

“You told me what I needed to know,” Kuroba answered enigmatically. Before Conan could continue his questioning, Haibara returned from her lab. Her return was perfectly timed, like it was _planned_ –and _not_ by Haibara.

She looked from one to the other before placing a small pill in Conan’s hand. “I’m sure you two have things to discuss. I’ll call Mouri-san to let her know you’ll be here all day. After that, I will be in my room if you need me.”

Then she left.

“So this is it,” Conan said, a little disbelieving. This was it. This little pill held the answer to his problem. It would allow him to return to his life, to ‘Shinichi’, to…

 _Ran_ …

“Do you know, if Ran and I…” Conan bit his lip, scared to ask, “if we…?”

“No,” Kuroba answered, smile gone.

“You don’t know?” Conan asked, surprised. With the way Kuroba had acted thus far, knowing all the things he did, Conan would have thought…

“I do,” Kuroba answered, “That’s your answer. Every time you tell her you are Conan, she gets mad at you. Sometimes she cries, sometimes she fights, and sometimes she just walks away.”

Conan’s heart gave another painful beat. He suspected as much. Ran had been growing distant from Shinichi every time they met. She cried less, searched less… last time, she didn’t even chase after him. Conan knew she was tired, they both were.

But he had to make it work. It was his goal.

It was the only thing that kept him going.

“What about if I don’t tell her about Conan?” he had to try. Conan had no other choice.

“She dies,” Kuroba said simple, voice a little _too_ upbeat, “Or you die, trying to save her. Black Organization hits, most often.”

The exact thing Conan was trying to avoid.

“So we never get a happy ending?” Conan looked down at the pill, a little bereft. So much work, only to end in failure.

“Not while the Black Organization is still around,” Kuroba said, a vicious smile forming on his lips, “Which is what we were planning yesterday.”

“We were planning _what_?!” Conan’s jaw dropped for a third time.

“I know the facility inside and out. I know the positions of their guns and ambushes. I know the location of their boss,” Kuroba’s grin grew as he spoke, “All I need is your friends from the FBI, CIA, and Secret Police.”

The question of how Kuroba knew of his contacts was on the tip of his tongue, but Conan stopped himself. If what Kuroba said was true (seeming more and more likely), he had done this all before, multiple times –enough to change their odds.

“I’ll give them a call,” Conan said, eyeing the pill in his hand.

“If you call them now, they’ll be here by noon, their back up by three,” Kuroba stated as if it were fact, “Take the antidote then.”

“Why then?” Conan asked, wrinkling his nose, “Why not now?”

“They don’t believe Kudou when he says he’s Edogawa-kun,” Kuroba said, smile jovial for once, “Didn’t I say? You detectives always need proof.”

Yeah, Conan could see how Jodie and Rei would want proof of his transformation. If he hadn’t shrunk _himself_ , Conan wasn’t sure he would believe it either.

“So go make your calls,” Kuroba waved him off.

Conan got up from the couch, but he didn’t go far. He still didn’t quite trust the thief not to just up and leave if he left Conan’s eyesight. Out of hearing distance, Conan took his phone from his pocket and started making calls.

While he was explaining the situation, he watched Kuroba finish his hot chocolate, set the mug aside, and pull out a small sheet of paper from his jacket pocket. From what he could tell, it was a blank card about the size of a typical KID heist notice. When Kuroba conjured a pen from seemingly nowhere, Conan figured his guess was correct.

“A heist?” he asked in-between calls, making his disappointment clear, “In the middle of all this?”

“Actually, it’s an apology,” Kuroba said, writing efficiently yet creatively like Conan always saw. “A man challenged me today to steal a gem. It would be wrong to stand him up.”

Conan snorted, “Says who?”

Kuroba paused mid-pen stroke, only for a second before he continued, “You did.”

“ _I_ did?” Conan… didn’t think the thief would listen to anything Conan said, especially not what was likely a throw away comment at the time.

“The gem is the one that trapped me in this loop,” Kuroba explained, “This man is trapped in a similar loop at this point in time. You thought it rude to not tell the man who trapped me that I would not be attending the heist.”

If the man was in the same thing as Kuroba, then yes, it was polite –if nothing more than to give him the middle finger in written form.

Conan came closer as the phone began to ring again.

_To my esteemed challenger,_

_I am afraid I must decline your invitation tonight. Something unexpected has come up and I am not free tonight. Perhaps we can reschedule?_

_If you wish, you may leave your reply at the address below. It is a drop point for an associate of mine, so please take care not to be seen._

_Once I have completed my tasks, I will take your reply, likely around midnight or so._

_-Kaitou KID_

Conan scowled at the address – _his_ address –and started to say something, but Jodie picked up at that moment. As he spoke with her, Conan couldn’t help but wonder about Kuroba.

He had chosen to write a letter because of something Conan said, once in the many ‘days’ he’d lived. What’s more, Kuroba had a card and pen on hand –showing the action was planned before he ever saw Conan today. He also knew Shinichi’s address without having asked and assumed Conan was fine with some random person leaving him mail (Conan was, strangely enough).

What made it even stranger; Kuroba chose to write it while Conan was busy with his phone calls. It was more like he was trying to pass time than make up an act. That, more than anything, sealed it for Conan.

KID wasn’t lying. He really _was_ trapped in a loop.

And he had yet to find a way out.

(Conan was reminded of a saying, “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is a sign of insanity.” Conan wondered how many times Kuroba had come over, had helped with the formula, had written that letter, had-!)

“Cool Kid?”

“Ah!” Conan blinked and tuned back in, “Sorry, Jodie-Sensei! I got distracted. Just come over when you have time!”

She gave an affirmative and hung up.

Conan sighed into his phone and watched as Kuroba unerringly found the stamps Agasa kept lying around, took one at random from the middle, and put it on his KID card.

Was he not even going to deliver it personally? That seemed… out of character.

 _A lot_ of things had seemed out of character.

It was making Conan’s Detective Sense tingle.

While Conan made his last call, Kuroba slid his shoes on and walked about the front door. His leisurely pace put him at the gate just as the mailman walked up. A brief conversation, Kuroba handed over the notice and waved the mailman off.

It was, perhaps, the weirdest exchange Conan had ever witnessed.

*             *             *             *             *

KID was watching him.

It was subtle, the way Kuroba positioned himself after the agency people had started to arrive. Conan was always in view, whether KID was next to him or not. When Conan started doing his circuits around the agency people, Kuroba would leave a room or enter one if Conan did so. He’d smile and make introductions as if _that’s_ why he changed rooms, but Conan knew better.

KID followed him to the bathroom.

Well, he didn’t stand outside the door, _per say_ , but he stood close to a doorway where he’d have direct line-of-sight of where Conan entered and exited.

It was weird and annoying and slightly worrying.

Did Conan get attacked before the operation? Did he slip and fall and crack his skull open? Did he ‘disappear’? Why else would KID watch him?

Conan didn’t get long to ponder as Rei walked in, eyes sharp on Akai.

Time to get this party started.

*             *             *             *             *

Shinichi groaned as he came to. Something itched across his arms, legs, torso and –wait, torso? A blanket? Where were his-?

Right.

The pill.

The transformation.

He shifted a bit and, yup. Naked as the day he was born.

“Clothes are by your head,” A familiar voice called through the haze, “Also, a bottle of water and some protein bars.”

Blinking his eyes open, Shinichi stared, dazed at the sight of a new setup in Agasa’s house. A card table that looked to be freshly bought (or perhaps brought from an HQ, though Shinichi wasn’t sure which) was surrounded by Shinichi’s contacts. The surface was completely covered in hand drawn blueprints and personalized notes.

It was Kuroba that had spoken to him. At his words, the others turned their attention.

“If I didn’t see it, I wouldn’t believe it,” Jodie said, her usual false cheer gone, “That’s quite a big secret, Cool Kid.”

“But it makes so much sense!” Rei noted, “After all, Mouri never seemed to get anywhere without Conan –or, I guess, Kudou Shinichi, high school detective.”

“I figured it out on my own,” Akai said, and yeah, that was true. Not without giving Shinichi a heart attack first.

Rei looked ready to pick a fight, but Kuroba interrupted them, “If you have no more questions, I suggest filling in your subordinates with the suggestions I have here.”

“And you’re _sure_ no one will die?” Jodie asked, dubious.

“Why, Sensei!” Kuroba chirped, KID’s smile bright on his face, “You should know from your stay in Japan. ‘No one gets hurt’ is a personal policy of mine.”

Rei didn’t look convinced. He shot Shinichi a glance, “You trust him?”

“With my life.” Shinichi didn’t even need to think on it. He saw the thief flinch out of the corner of his eye and, what? Didn’t the thief know how much Shinichi trusted him? Sure, they had their differences, but Shinichi knew he could count on the thief when it came down to it.

And everything else Kuroba had said was correct so far.

Shinichi’s word was all the group needed, it seemed. The next minute, they were gathering up their papers and pulling out their phones to make more calls. Akai was acting leader of the CIA faction since he was Kir’s only point of contact.

“It’ll take an hour or two,” Kuroba stated as he sat down on the couch arm by Shinichi’s head. “To call everyone and get their back up convinced. We’ll likely need another meeting for some finer details, but I wrote down all I could.”

“… How long was I out?” Shinichi wondered aloud.

“Half an hour,” Kuroba answered, “Why don’t you take a shower, get dressed? The… process seemed intense.”

Shinichi caught on to Kuroba’s falter, but didn’t say anything. If _watching_ the transformation was intense, feeling it was even more so.

Struggling up on coltish legs, Shinichi drew the blanket around himself, trying to keep his dignity intact as much as he could in front of the people that had watched him transform. Gathering up his clothes and food, Shinichi hobbled his way over to the stairs, intent on getting to the shower on his own, and Kuroba… let him.

The other teen didn’t follow, didn’t offer help, just remained where he was, staring forward and _not_ at Shinichi.

It was a startling 360 from earlier.

In the bathroom, Shinichi ate the protein bars as he waited for the water to heat up. As he drank from the water bottle, he wondered. Before, he’d thought Kuroba had been watching him in order to prevent a disaster… but a disaster could happen to Shinichi just as much as Conan (one would argue _more_ sometimes).

Was the difference… because he was no longer Conan? No longer ‘Tantei-kun’?

Shinichi’s heart gave a confusing thump.

Shaking his head, he stepped under the spray, now heated to his preferred temperature. His wash was a little more… thorough than typical, like he was washing away the final traces of Edogawa Conan. He dried himself carefully, feeling a little winded, but his muscles no longer ached. They had relaxed under the hot spray –enough that he could pull his shirt on over his head and slip into his boxers and pants with little effort.

An hour had passed by the time Shinichi made it back down the stairs. He found Kuroba at the impromptu planning table, the parts of his card gun spread out around him. Kuroba had changed in Shinichi’s absence. His iconic white suit fitted him like a glove, though his hat and monocle lay forgotten off to the side. His nimble fingers danced among the pieces laid out in front of him, changing the barrel of the gun with one of a wider diameter.

For a split second, Shinichi thought Kuroba was fitting his gun for _actual bullets_ , but no. Those were tranquilizers by his elbow, not silver birds of death.

“I’m going with you,” Shinichi said, needed to let Kuroba know. If he had papers for Shinichi like he had for the other team members, Shinichi would need time to look them over and memorize.

“No,” Kuroba’s answer was quick, without hesitation and –what?

“Wha-? What do you mean ‘No’?!” Shinichi felt something inside him snap its teeth angrily. He didn’t come this far just to take a seat on the sidelines!

“You go with me, you die,” Kuroba said without looking back. His hands had stopped working, eyes staring down at the blueprints he’d drawn up for battle plans.

“I’m okay with that!” If it meant that dozens, hundreds, _thousands_ of other wouldn’t have to, Shinichi was ready to pay with his life!

“ _I’m not!_ ” Kuroba shouted back, showing more fluctuations in emotion that Shinichi had _ever_ seen from him. “I… _can’t_ lose you, Shinichi.”

One word, one name was all it took and everything made sense. Kuroba watching Conan, but averting his eyes to Shinichi. It was safe to want to protect a child, one that could not and _would not_ return his affections. It was another thing _entirely_ to love someone his own age –someone who was, for all intents and purposes, _taken_.

It didn’t matter that Conan, that _Shinichi_ had only known him for a day –less even. To Kuroba, it had been much, _much_ longer.

 _How long?_ Shinichi wondered, _A week? A month? Longer?_

Enough so that Kuroba was familiar enough with him to call him ‘Shinichi’ without his expressed permission.

And Shinichi… couldn’t return his feelings.

Yet.

Shinichi didn’t know Kuroba Kaito enough to ‘love’ him, but he liked KID enough to start. It would be enough for Kaito, for this one day Shinichi knew of the dozens (hundreds?) Kaito had experienced.

“I’m going, Kaito,” Shinichi said softly, watching the thief’s reaction. For a fraction of a second, that damned mask broke, showing an expression so full of longing and fear that Shinichi’s heart broke for him.

When Kaito didn’t immediately argue, Shinichi pressed forward, “Kaito, I’m going.”

Shinichi watched as Kaito waged an inner battle before the magician finally ordered, “Then you’re going to listen to my every word. I don’t care if it’s to duck or shoot someone. You hear me, you obey,” those indigo eyes trapped Shinichi in place like they never had before, “is that clear?”

Shinichi nodded.

“No hesitation. You hesitate, you die.”

Shinichi wasn’t stupid. He didn’t expect to get through this without casualties. Here, though, it wasn’t murder; it was war. Things were never black and white where war was concerned.

When Kaito turned his back, likely to put his mask back together, Shinichi pulled out his phone. Dialing a familiar number, it rang once before a voice answered.

_“Hello?”_

“Ran,” Shinichi greeted, voice a little pained. He didn’t like what he was about to do… but it was for the best.

 _“Shinichi!?_ ” she sounded pleasantly surprised, “ _I haven’t heard from you in so long! How are you? How’s the case?”_

“Good. I’m doing good,” Shinichi fiddled with the hem of his shirt, “I’m almost finished with the case.”

 _“Really?!”_ her shock and disbelief were palpable.

“Yeah, that’s… that’s kind of why I’m calling,” Shinichi said quietly, “I’m about to do something really stupid and dangerous, but it will help so many people, Ran. You don’t realize how _many_.”

_“… Will you… Could you die? If you do this?”_

“There’s… a potential,” One Shinichi is sure Kaito would do his best to prevent.

 _“… I can’t stop you,”_ she sighed, more defeated than angry, _“but you better make it back to me! Alive, you hear me?”_

“I hear you, but… that’s another reason I called,” Shinichi winced, “I… I can’t keep doing this to you, Ran. I can’t keep making you wait and it was wrong of me to think that I had the right.”

_“…Shinichi? What are you saying?”_

“We… aren’t going to work, Ran,” Shinichi said slowly, “We should just… stop.”

_“But, Shinichi! I can wait! I don’t care how long-!”_

“You shouldn’t _have to_ though,” Shinichi hissed into the phone, “You shouldn’t have to come second to murder cases. You shouldn’t have to wait for me to get my shit together. You deserve better.”

_“But I want-!”_

“You know that’s not true,” Shinichi shook his head, “I’ve seen it in your eyes. You’re just as tired of this as I am.”

 _“…How do you know that?_ ” she asked, suspicious. _“You haven’t seen me in weeks.”_

Shinichi cringed at his slip up. Not two hours in and he’d already blown his cover. He sighed, “I can’t explain it right now, but I promise I will. Later.”

 _“You better! If you don’t come back alive to explain it, I’ll bring you back just to kill you myself!”_ she promised.

Shinichi laughed and casted a glance at Kaito’s back. “I don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about,” he turned his attention away, “I’ll call you after all this is over.”

 _“I’ll be waiting for your call,”_ she said. Shinichi smiled into the phone, said goodbye, and hung up.

“Who was that?” Kaito asked and –Shinichi blinked. Didn’t Kaito know already? Unless…

Shinichi didn’t call Ran any of the other times.

Kaito never called him ‘Shinichi’ before –or Shinichi just never made the connection like he had today (Shinichi highly doubted that). Or maybe Kaito just never cared to ask?

Shinichi answered him and didn’t make a fuss, but he kept the incident in the back of his mind. He also stored away the way Kaito seemed to deflate at the mention of Ran’s name.

*             *             *             *             *

_Then you’re going to listen to my every word. I don’t care if it’s to duck or shoot someone. You hear me, you obey._

-and Shinichi did.

Kaito said, “stay”; Shinichi stayed.

Kaito said, “go”; he went, no hesitation.

Kaito said, “Duck”; he hit the floor, no questions asked.

Kaito said, “Guy at my nine, your seven. When I shoot, grab his gun. Aim for the next one’s trigger finger. He’ll be at your twelve.”

Shinichi grabbed the gun and – _tuck, roll, kneel, aim, pull –_the assailant’s finger went flying.

Looks like that gun obstacle course his father had him complete came in handy. He heard a silent _pssh!_ of Kaito’s gun behind him as Kaito took down another Black Org minion down the hall.

The guy Shinichi had shot was reaching for his gun.

There was no command from Kaito, but Shinichi didn’t need one. By the time the guy had the gun in his left hand, Shinichi was on him, driving the butt of the stolen weapon into the man’s temple. When Shinichi bent to pick up the weapon, he nearly dropped it at the panicked call of his name.

Kaito looked _furious._

“If I didn’t take his gun,” Shinichi defended as he returned to Kaito’s side, “he would have fired left-handed.”

“I didn’t tell you to grab it!” Kaito hissed. His mask was fracturing again.

“You didn’t tell me not to,” Shinichi countered, eyebrow raised.

It hit Shinichi then. The letter, the call, his reluctance to include Shinichi… as much as Kaito made himself out to be confident and all knowing, he _wasn’t_. He wasn’t because-!

“We’ve never made it past him, have we?”

“ _We_ never have,” Kaito confirmed, laying unintentional emphasis on his words. He turned away, checking the hall in front of them.

“I haven’t,” Shinichi decided, “you have.”

“I didn’t get much further,” Kaito said, not looking back, like the subject would go away if he ignored it.

The look in Kaito’s eyes, his not right smile, his near obsessive need to not ‘lose’ Shinichi…

“You…” Shinichi stopped him, “You killed yourself, didn’t you?”

Kaito wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“You did,” Shinichi gaped, outraged, “I can’t believe you! You could have been making progress! Instead, you just went and-!”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Kaito protested, his eyes going a little wild, revealing some of the insanity he hid under his mask, “One person is different from two people! If I kept going, I wouldn’t have made any progress for _you_.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Shinichi hissed. How dare he? How dare he _kill_ himself because Shinichi didn’t make it! All this time! He could have been-!

“You want the real reason?!” Kaito snapped, teeth grinding together. His mask had finally broken, this time for good, Shinichi was sure, “The real reason I killed myself every time is because _I can’t do it without you._ ”

Shinichi’s breath hitched.

“I can’t, physically, keep going if you aren’t here,” Kaito bit out, glistening tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. The raw emotion, of want, need and _desperation_ , made Shinichi’s heart _ache_. “I just… _can’t_. I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist. I can’t enjoy a victory you aren’t a part of. I can’t stand a _day_ where you _die_. And I _beg_ of you,” Kaito’s voice cracked, “please, don’t make me.”

Shinichi didn’t respond to that.

Shinichi _couldn’t_ respond to that.

There _wasn’t a response to that_ other than to nod his head and silently agree to Kaito’s plea. Abruptly, Kaito broke eye contact. From what Shinichi could see of his face, Kaito was desperately trying to pull himself together to face whatever lay ahead of them.

Shinichi realized, belatedly, the headquarters of the underground crime syndicate they were trying to take down... was _probably_ not the best place for a heart-to-heart.

Oh well. What’s done was done. No choice but to move forward.

*             *             *             *             *

When they ran into Gin, Kaito shot and darted him with his first try, but Gin didn’t go down. Shinichi heard a curse and something about ‘forgot the horse darts’, but he didn’t pause to contemplate. Instead, it was – _cold rooftop covered in snow, get Haibara out, go down, down! –_the dart from his watch sliding into Gin’s neck and the man slid to the floor, down for the count.

Kaito shot him an incredulous (and weirdly relieved) look.

“I can be of _some_ help, you know,” Shinichi grumbled, clicking his watch closed and shoving it back into his pocket. He hadn’t been sure what he’d need from his arsenal, but a tranquilizer dart was always good to have on hand. Too bad he’d used up the only one.

Vermouth waited at the next intersection, eyes going wide when she saw Shinichi. They went wider still when Kaito said, “GND-406.”

Like a switch had been flipped, her aggressive stance turned defensive.

“Time loop?” she asked. Kaito nodded.

Shinichi idly wondered if that was the same code Kaito had given Haibara.

“Get Kir out here too,” Kaito said as he backtracked down the hall. Shinichi followed him with his eyes, curious. At a seemingly random door, Kaito yanked open the handle, spilling Vodka out into the hall. A shot from his card-turned-tranq gun and Vodka lay out cold.

In the time it had taken Kaito to do the deed and for Shinichi to watch, Kir had materialized at Vermouth’s side.

“Your plan,” Vermouth wondered aloud, “Will it work?”

“We’ll just have to see,” Kaito smiled brightly, but it had too many cracks to be a KID grin.

The two women led them straight to the boss’ room. They reached the door quickly, no other members coming to stand in their way.

It was easy.

It was too easy.

Shinichi didn’t trust it for a second. Thankfully, neither did Kaito. After Vermouth knocked on the door, Kaito kept her from opening it. Instead, he pushed her and Kir off to the side, behind where the door would open so that they had cover.

When Kaito turned to him, eyes contemplative, Shinichi just crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. If Kaito thought he’d take cover while Kaito got _shot at_ , he was insane. Kaito gave in and allowed Shinichi to join him on the other side of the doorway, but he still positioned himself in front of Shinichi (over-protective worry-wort).

Kaito motioned Vermouth to open the door and...

Bullets flew into the space where the door had been.

The shots echoed in the hall, but Shinichi kept careful count of the bullets embedding themselves in the wall.

Seven shots.

He placed Conan’s small glasses over his nose, turning on the zoom feature. The reflection off the convex doorknob showed a figure with a gun in the room. More zooming, a little clean up, and Shinichi knew the make and model of that gun, _knew_ it had at least one more bullet in its magazine –if not loaded with an extra in the chamber to start with.

He felt Kaito tense beside him and –what was he? _Crazy_?! Didn’t he know the boss had one more bullet in that gun? Didn’t he know what would happen if he dove in there like the self-sacrificing idiot he was?!

He didn’t.

Because this was a first for Kaito.

He’d never made it this far with Shinichi.

And he was about to make a mistake that would put him back to square one.

Shinichi tore the gun from his fingers, forcing Kaito to rethink his actions.

“Sh-!” Kaito started to complain, but Shinichi shoved a hand over his mouth to quiet him.

Turning his eyes to the bullets, Shinichi briefly calculated the angle needed to hit the person standing just inside the doorway. Their current position just wouldn’t _work_ -!

Then movement reflected on the doorknob. The boss moved. His gun lowered the slightest bit.

Shinichi dropped his hands to his belt, taking the one chance he saw to inflate the ball, aim, and _fire_.

Even if all it did was use up a bullet and cause a distraction, that was all Shinichi needed, but it did more. The ball ricocheted off the wall and sailed through the doorway, smacking into the boss if the grunt was anything to go by.

In the next moment, Kaito had scooped up his fallen gun and did a duck and roll movement that left Shinichi feeling impressed and… tingly. One shot later and the boss lay out cold –an amusing facsimile to Vodka five halls back.

It was over. It was finally _over_! Shinichi felt like laughing.

“We did it!” Shinichi breathed, then repeated, more happily, eyes on Kaito, “We did it!”

Kaito smiled.

It didn’t quite reach his eyes.

*             *             *             *             *

After they met back up with Jodie, Rei, and Akai, after Shinichi had handcuffed the boss to the police car himself, after every last member of the Black Organization was rounded up, he went to look for Kaito. He found the thief on the rooftop, an obvious fact, now that Shinichi thought about it.

The roof seemed to be Kaito’s favorite method of escape. He shouldn’t be surprised to find the other here.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Shinichi asked, coming up behind him. He was a little jittery, still coming down from the high of completing his goal. Some company would be nice.

“Just thinking that this won’t last forever,” Kaito replied quietly. He kept his back to Shinichi even as Shinichi frowned, because…

Kaito was right. This would only last as long as the time loop Kaito was in allowed, but…

“But we know it can be done,” Shinichi answered, drawing close, to the point where he could feel the heat from Kaito’s body, “and when you figure out a way to break the curse, we can do this again and make it _stick_.”

Kaito didn’t offer any other words, positive or negative.

Figuring the thief wanted some time alone to sort out his thoughts before the clock turned back, Shinichi took a step away, “Well, I’m sure the FBI will want to talk to you. I heard they were dropping your KID charges, but they’ll want to debrief you. And I need to let Ran know I’m-!”

“Shinichi?” Kaito called.

Shinichi stopped, one foot turned towards the access door, the other towards Kaito. The teen still didn’t look at Shinichi, eyes on the ground.

“Once…” Kaito faltered, like he already knew his request would be turned down. “Just once… could I… could we… Could I be the one you look at?”

When Shinichi didn’t answer immediately, Kaito continued frantically, “Just once! Just once and I’ll never ask again! I swear!”

Shinichi shouldn’t ask, shouldn’t need to know, but he was _curious_ and –“What did I say last time?”

Kaito looked up sharply at that, indigo eyes wide with pleas and hope and dejections. If Shinichi had even _thought_ of rejecting him before, he couldn’t now. “I don’t-! I never-!”

Shinichi smiled gently at the other and retraced his steps to Kaito’s side. He couldn’t help but think the fidgeting and uncertain looks were cute. That morning, if asked, he would have said Kaito – _KID_ –was nothing but a thief that deserved to be jailed, but now…

Shinichi didn’t love Kaito the way Kaito loved him. He wouldn’t put his life on the line for the other. He didn’t spend months making and remaking progress on an antidote for Kaito. He didn’t spend day after day futilely trying to save Kaito’s life until he got it _just right_. He didn’t spend multiple-days-in-one with no one to remember it but himself.

Shinichi just didn’t feel the same...

…but he could.

He could spend any number of days –ones they would _both_ remember –and catch up to the thief. He could put in the time and effort and repay Kaito for things the magician likely didn’t care to keep track of. Most importantly, Shinichi could be there to help the magician put together the pieces of his heart until those smiles didn’t quite look so broken and Kaito didn’t stare at Shinichi like he could look but never touch, never _have_.

It would take time, but Shinichi didn’t mind.

He had all the time in the world, now.

 _And why not start now?_ He thought to himself as he pulled Kaito in by his necktie to a chaste kiss, the first of many _, many_ more to follow. Shinichi would make sure of it.

*             *             *             *             *

Shinichi woke up when his pillow moved. Hazy scenes from the day before kept him from panicking when a sleep-warm body shifted and levered itself up, gradual at first, then sharply.

Kaito sat for a long time, so long Shinichi nearly fell back asleep, but then the other made to stand up and, no, why? Why did Kaito have to be an (ugh) _morning person_?

Shinichi wrapped his arms around Kaito as incentive to stay in bed. When Kaito froze up, Shinichi managed to drag himself up Kaito’s back to his shoulder. He uttered a sleepy, “S’wrong? ‘M sleepin’…”

Kaito paused, seeming to think it over, and…

“Ow! Hey!” Shinichi yelped at the sharp pain in his thigh. Kaito startled at his cry, like he didn’t expect Shinichi to react to _being pinched_.

Well, if Shinichi hadn’t been awake before, he was now.

“What was that for?!” Shinichi demanded, rubbing the offended area with one hand while he kept the other wrapped around Kaito’s waist. Then he caught the look on Kaito’s face –pain and hope mixed with sheer _disbelief_ , “Kaito? You okay?”

The whispered reply was too quiet for Shinichi to hear.

“Kaito?” Shinichi called again, worried now. The worry changed to alarm when tears trickled down Kaito’s face, clashing with the troublingly shocked look in his eyes. “Kaito! Are you hurt? In pain?! Why are you-? Don’t cry!”

A pale hand reached up, pulling away moisture like Kaito didn’t know what it was. Shinichi was _this close_ to calling Haibara or Ran or, hell, _Sonoko_ , when Kaito seemed to come back to himself, “It’s real.”

The hand that had wiped tears away cupped Shinichi’s face, fingertips slightly damp. Shinichi realized then. Kaito wasn’t shocked, he was in _awe_ , “You’re _real…_ ”

Shinichi covered Kaito’s hand with his own, anchoring the teen through his revelation. This look… Kaito must have… the time loop… but _how_ -?

 _Later, Shinichi_. He told himself, _later._ Now, he needed to focus on Kaito.

“It’s real, Kaito.” Shinichi agreed quietly, “I’m real. You’re free.”

“I’m free…” Kaito breathed… then his face _twisted_ –fear and uncertainty. His eyes strayed to where they had been when Shinichi first levered himself up. Following his gaze, Shinichi saw the faint gleam of KID’s card gun. It was still modified to be handle tranquilizers, but…

Any projectile could be deadly if used properly.

Shinichi reached out to physically _turn_ Kaito away from his thoughts. He forced the magician to lock eyes with him instead of the gun and spoke sternly to the other, “Kaito, whatever is going on in that stupid thief brain of yours, _stop it._ I know you were in there a while…”

Shinichi didn’t actually know _how long…_

“365 days,” Kaito filled in the blank, making Shinichi’s stomach flip.

Okay, 365 days.

52 weeks.

12 months.

 _One_ _year_.

That was… longer than Shinichi had expected. Much longer.

 “A _long_ time,” Shinichi winced, “but you don’t have to be scared of a new day. Whatever comes, we’ll deal with it together.”

Kaito searched his face, a little wild-eyed now that his emotions were breaking through the shell of shock and awe. He was looking for something –what, Shinichi didn’t know –but he must have found it because the tears came back, this time accompanied by a shuddered breath and sobs. It was a better reaction than before, more ‘normal’ than vacant staring. It wasn’t a _good_ reaction, but it was better.

Shinichi just held him, whispering sweet nothings he wasn’t sure Kaito could even hear, and patiently waited for Kaito to unload the stress and pent up emotions he’d held back for an entire year.

*             *             *             *             *

Kaito had just left to grab the mail from Shinichi’s mailbox when Haibara called.

“Hello,” he greeted.

 _“… So it wasn’t a dream,”_ she said in lieu of a reply.

“If you’re talking about creating an antidote, taking down the Black Organization, and breaking a cursed thief out of his time loop all in _one day_ ,” Shinichi listed off as he watched Kaito freeze at the sight of something in his mail slot and pull out his phone, “Then no, it was not a dream.”

 _“… He’s free then? He wasn’t faking?_ ” she asked.

Shinichi raised an eyebrow at the phone, “You’re the one he told that code to. And yes, he’s free, more to his surprise than mine.”

 _“He never expected to leave the loop, did he_.” It was phrased as a question, yet sounded anything but.

“I don’t think so,” Shinichi confirmed, “and I’m not sure what _did_ break him out of it, but I’m glad _something_ worked.”

 _“… I have a theory,_ ” Haibara started, _“That I’d like to run by him, about the loop.”_

“Get more information from him?” Shinichi guessed, “Want a confirmation for your theory?”

 _“More like I want him to disprove it,”_ Haibara’s voice was so small, Shinichi nearly missed it. Before he could question her, she stated, _“I’m coming over._ ”

Then she hung up.

Shinichi stared at his phone, then shrugged and turned on the news instead. He was sure reports of the takedown yesterday would be kept heavily under wraps, but it didn’t hurt to check.

The biggest story of the day was the apparent suicide of some rich guy named Ishimoto Doushin. Shinichi couldn’t tell by the scene, but it _looked_ like just a suicide, not a disguised murder or anything. He could always call Megure…

“That was him.”

Shinichi blinked and turned from his thoughts, catching sight of Kaito behind the couch. The other was dressed in a pair of Shinichi’s jeans and a large sweater that draped off one side, nearly displaying the thief’s shoulder. Shinichi shook himself from his pleased observations, “What?”

“The guy before me,” Kaito explained as he rounded the couch and snuggled into Shinichi’s side. Shinichi let him, wrapping an arm around the other’s shoulders. “He was trapped in yesterday –a different one from me. I’m not sure of the specifics of how he got in it, but he thought to pawn the gem off on Kaitou KID.”

“And you can never say ‘no’ to a challenge,” Shinichi smiled at him.

“Not anymore,” Kaito huffed, “I learned my lesson.”

He took something from his pocket and set it on the coffee table, hand withdrawing quickly. The light from the morning sun trailed through the window, spearing the innocent sapphire and splashing a gleam of blue onto the dark wood. From where Shinichi was sitting, the facets in the gem threw the refractions into specific shapes –almost looking like tear drops to his eyes.

“Is that…?” Shinichi looked at Kaito.

“I called Akako to double-check,” Kaito said, fingers fidgeting with his sleeves, oddly nervous, “Now that I’ve ‘broken the curse’, the gem won’t trap me again. It shouldn’t anyway. I guess… I’ll know when I go to sleep tonight.”

Shinichi tightened his arm around Kaito’s shoulders, as if to physically ward off the curse. Kaito didn’t need to go through that again, not when they didn’t know what had broken the loop in this last cycle.

“If the rest of the story was true, I think you’re safe,” Shinichi smiled and reached for the gem.

Kaito smacked his hand away.

Shinichi looked up, hurt, only to jerk at the look on Kaito’s face. It looked like the thief wasn’t even _breathing_ , staring at the gem with absolute _horror_.

“Don’t…” Kaito’s voice cracked. He swallowed and tried again, “Don’t touch it.”

Shinichi withdrew his hand.

Kaito ducked his head into Shinichi’s shoulder, “…I’m sorry.”

“You’ve been through a lot,” Shinichi reasoned, running his fingers through Kaito’s hair, “You didn’t want it to happen to someone else.”

“… Didn’t want it to happen to _you_.” Hands tightened in Shinichi’s blanket. Shinichi’s reply was to wrap his other arm around Kaito’s shoulders, hugging the magician close.

Shinichi spied Haibara the moment she came in. He scowled at her and her stupid smug face. Couldn’t she just leave them alone? She could talk to Kaito about her theory some other time.

Apparently not.

“Ugh, disgusting,” Haibara said as she put her hands on her hips.

In his arms, Kaito jerked and twisted around to spot her over the opposite arm of the couch.

Shinichi shot her an unimpressed look.

She just raised an eyebrow at him.

Punk.

Her eyes flicked to Kaito. “I take it you figured out a way to end the curse?”

“I think so,” Kaito’s smile was shaky, but it was already an improvement on this morning. “No more replaying days for me.”

“… I was wondering…” Haibara started in that tone that always had Shinichi thinking _here we go again_ , “What if… it wasn’t the same day?”

“What?” there was no real word for what Kaito did. It’s like he just… stopped working. Shinichi ran a comforting hand down his back, hoping to melt the thief-statue.

“There is a theory that there are an infinitely many alternate universes out there,” Haibara explained, “Perhaps you just travelled through each universe until you found one where the odds were in your favor.”

“But…” Kaito sounded on the verge of tears, and _shit, Shinichi should never have let her-!_ “ _Why_ …?”

“If you woke up after every time you died,” Haibara said slowly, perhaps realizing just how fragile the teen in Shinichi’s arms was, “the alternate universe was not in your favor. The gem took you to another one, one where you had a better chance at life.”

Kaito’s mouth worked itself, but no sound left his lips. Shinichi grew worried.

If he had known _this_ is what Haibara had wanted to talk about, he would _never_ have let her talk with Kaito. Even if it _killed him_ , Shinichi would have kept them apart. This was obviously stressing Kaito out, but…

At the same time, Haibara was staring at Kaito with a desperation Shinichi was not unfamiliar with. It was the same look when she demanded why he didn’t help Akemi – _he was a detective, why didn’t he help her?!_

But why…?

The formula.

She’d have needed a lab rat, someone who was already affected by the poison and who the prototype would interact with. She couldn’t use it on herself, so the only other option would have been…

Shinichi bit his lip and glanced at Kaito when the magician finally got his voice to work, “What… what about when I fell asleep?”

Haibara raised her eyebrows at him, a prompt to continue.

“The world reset…” he swallowed, “whenever I would sleep.”

“Hmm…” Haibara tilted her head, “There would be no reason for transporting you to another universe if that were the case. Though some call sleep the ‘short death’, there was no telling whether the universe was beneficial or not to you.”

“So, when I slept, when the day restarted…?” Kaito couldn’t finish his question. Shinichi could feel the thief trembling. He held him closer.

“It appears that my theory would be incorrect,” Haibara admitted, a look of relief so quick it was blink-and-miss-it, “I am not sure it was correct in the first place. It was just a passing thought.”

Kaito held his breath for several seconds before abruptly deflating.

“Anyway,” Haibara said, looking to Shinichi. He could still see relief deep in her eyes, that she had not let hundreds of dead Shinichis in some other universe for some other Haibara to deal with. “I am glad you seem to be doing well. I will need to take samples sometime today to make sure there are no side effects, but I am sure the antidote worked as I anticipated.”

To Kaito, Haibara opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. Shinichi watched as she tried to find the right words to express her feelings, “Thank you, Kuroba-san. For finding the formula for APTX, for helping with the antidote, for taking down the organization, and…” she paused, changing the next words out of her mouth, and shot Shinichi an exasperated look, “for keeping this idiot alive.”

Shinichi stuck his tongue out at her, forgetting for a second that he was no longer eight years old.

Kaito muttered some kind of confirmation, but Shinichi could tell that Kaito was still recovering from Haibara’s “theory”, despite the fact she had labeled it as ‘disproved’ in her books.

“Don’t forget to call Mouri,” Haibara reminded him, catching his attention. She flashed a text message on her phone, saying she was going to join Ayumi and the others (and wishing him luck with the ‘adult’ world, punk). Without another word, she turned and left through the front door.

Shinichi relaxed again, content to hold Kaito until the other was ready to move again.

“Aren’t you going to call?” Kaito asked without raising his head.

“Hmm?”

“Mouri-san,” Kaito said, struggling to sit up and pull away from Shinichi.

Shinichi wouldn’t let him.

“I already did,” Shinichi replied, “Don’t you remember? Before we went into the operation?”

Kaito stared at him, brow furrowing in confusion, “I thought… she called you?”

“I called her,” Shinichi corrected, “To apologize in advance for doing something dangerous and for not being able to live up to her dream.”

Though he had promised to call to show he was still alive… Eh, he could text her. Kaito needed him right now anyway.

“But…” Kaito frowned, biting his lip. It was still red from the previous night.

“Our relationship wasn’t healthy,” Shinichi shook his head. “She should have been living her life, growing up –I just held her back. I don’t think she’ll be happy with me yet, but… it was for the best.”

“Does that mean…” the look on Kaito’s face was heartbreakingly hopeful, “I can be the only one you look at? More than once?”

Shinichi smiled, “As long as I am the only one you look at.”

Broken as it was, the smile Kaito presented him with was absolutely _beautiful_.

Shinichi cast the gem on his coffee table another look. He didn’t touch, he remembered Kaito’s warning, but he did get the magician’s attention, “When you pull heists… what is it you’re looking for?”

“Pandora,” Kaito answered, snuggling in close, “A gem said to grant never-ending life.”

Shinichi blinked, “Like never growing old? Never dying?”

“Yeah,” Kaito nosed at his shoulder. Shinichi ran a hand through his messy hair.

“…Like restarting a day when you die so you never do?” Shinichi asked, an idea forming more and more as he stared at the colorful gem on his table, “Like restarting a day when you sleep so time never moves forward?”

Kaito froze, still as a statue, before _lunging_ at the stone. He held it up to the light, trying to see something in it, though Shinichi didn’t know what. Kaito must have found what he was looking for, because he let out a bark of a laugh, quickly followed by more hysterical laughter on the edge of tears.

He gripped the stone tightly, hiding it fully in his palm before burrowing into Shinichi’s side again, “All this time… _all this time-!_ ”

Shinichi hummed in agreement, not sure _what_ he was agreeing to, but it soothed Kaito none-the-less. Emotionally exhausted for the second (third?) time that day, Kaito seemed disinclined to move and Shinichi was perfectly okay with that.

“So was it?” Shinichi asked, “The gem you’re looking for?”

“I’ll need moonlight to be _sure,_ but…”

But Kaito hoped so and Shinichi hoped for him as well. After the ordeal he’d had, Kaito deserved some rest. At least, for now. He’s sure, with time, Kaito will don the white suit again and take to the skies and Shinichi will _let him_ , but that’s far off in the future. Right now, right now is just for the two of them.

Shinichi is completely content with that.

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: I am planning to write something that is a few months after this point, timeline-wise, but nothing too concrete right now. I've got Kaito's recovery, Shinichi's deduced knowledge of the events in LDA, Aoko and Ran's reaction, and a little bit on Hakuba, Nakamori, and Akako. Let me know if I'm missing any odds or ends and I'll try to work it in for you!
> 
>  
> 
> If you want to say "Good Job!" or "Sequel Please!" just leave a Kudo (or a Kaito, he needs some Shinichi-hugs).
> 
> If you have some constructive criticism, please leave a comment below. I am always looking to improve my writing skills, so any advice you have for me is appreciated.
> 
> HOWEVER, advice consisting of "make it longer" is rude and juvenile. I will delete comments like that.


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